Money is a Magnifier

Originally written July 22, 2024. Updated December 18, 2024.

Today, I had a really tough conversation with my Mom about my Dad's health situation. He started with cancer in his throat five years ago, then turned to lung surgery one year ago, and is now an infection. He's spent 30 days in the ICU and none of the options we're hearing from the doctors sounds promising. We're all feeling pretty discouraged and sad that this could be the last of our time with Dad. As the medical challenges mounted, they brought other concerns to the surface.

Leading up to this moment, I've had a few conversations with my parents about their financial situation. Not something you naturally talk to your parents about but I felt prompted to ask. My takeaways were that they're stressed about their cost of living and the uncertainty that comes with my dad's ability to continue working. Additionally, they have Anna's wedding coming up and Emma leaving for her mission.

Out of the blue one day, a close family friend called me. He asked how my Dad was doing and I proceeded to tell him how things aren’t looking great for my dad. It’s sobering only to have bad news for people who ask.

Being the kind and generous people they are, he offered to help financially. I said to him, that’s so kind of you to offer but I know my parents wouldn’t accept money from anyone.

This friend began to explain that he’s been blessed beyond his needs financially and would like to help lighten any burdens or stresses that my parents are feeling. He recognized my sister's upcoming wedding and another sister leaving on a mission and offered to provide help. I told him I’d talk to Abbey and let him know how He and his family might be able to help.

Abbey and I talked and it felt appropriate to let them help. Watching my Dad go through his first surgery, I learned that we have to let people serve in order to recognize the blessings and small miracles. Whether that’s inviting people to pray, exercise priesthood, or accepting help from others. By letting others serve, at least we can make the most of the unfortunate circumstances and see God’s hand in things.

After talking through how to not awkwardly but humbly accept such a favor, I reached back out and told this friend I’d be happy to be the medium through which he could bless my parents. I got the following text back shortly after the call:

“How about I cut you a check for $10,000 and you direct it as needed to help your parents. Please just keep it to yourself and know we are thinking about you guys.”

Knowing what this would mean to my parents even temporarily, made me cry (and I don't cry). I don’t doubt for a second that the prompting our family friends had to call me the day and time they did, wasn’t a prompting from our heavenly father. That kind of blessing couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.

I’ve always been taught that money is a magnifier. But this was the first time I really believed that to be true. This isn’t the first time this family friend has been an example to me of how to use money as a magnifier to do good and help those around them. It’s inspiring. To be honest, it lights a fire in me to be that person who chooses to do good with the things they’ve been blessed with.

This act of kindness came with one request. A request to pay it forward. To recognize there will be a time and place to give back.

Fast forward to the end of the year and I've already seen opportunities to give back. Recently, I got to know a new engineer on our team - a Filipino colleague who shared that his father was battling an aggressive form of cancer. His story touched me deeply. He told me about breaking free from poverty through education and becoming a software engineer. As a symbol of his success, he had bought himself a Rolex watch - a personal reminder that he had "made it." But when his father's health crisis hit and his parents struggled financially, he and his siblings stepped up to help. He had to sell that meaningful watch to contribute to his father's care.

His situation struck a chord with me, reminding me of my own family's journey. Here was my chance to pay forward the kindness we'd received. When I was able to help him, it became a strengthening experience not just for me, but for my parents and Abbey as well. It felt profound to complete the circle - to help someone else just as we had been helped in our time of need.

This experience gave me hope that I can become someone who can bless the lives of those around me through small charitable acts of kindness.