Funeral Reflections

I was honestly surprised at how much work it takes to prepare for a funeral—even when the passing of a loved one is expected. My dad was in home hospice for five months, so we had some time to plan, but I was still caught off guard by the sheer amount of effort involved. Our friends and neighbors stepped up big-time, helping us immensely through the viewing and funeral day. We genuinely couldn't have done it without their love and support, as well as the services of a good funeral home.

I wanted to share a few reflections from the past few days—not specifically about my dad, but about the experience itself and what we can learn from situations like these.

Just Serve

Do the thing you think needs to happen. Don't wait for permission or ask how you can help, because most people won't ask for what they really need. Small, thoughtful actions matter so much more than you realize. A few days before the funeral, we were low on groceries and weren't sure what we'd eat for breakfast. Word had quietly spread that my dad had passed, and some close friends, who we'd recently stayed at a cabin with, spontaneously dropped off a Harmon's bag packed with groceries. They didn't ask what we needed—they just acted. The bag was filled with snacks for the kids, fruit, yogurt, pistachios, and chocolate. Their kindness touched us deeply. And they weren't alone; countless others dropped off meals, groceries, flowers, and offered childcare while we spent time with family.

The Power of Words

The words we say matter. One of the most meaningful ways you can support someone in tough times is through thoughtful words of encouragement and perspective. Grief often brings intense emotions and even physical sickness, amplifying the need for comforting words. However, delivery matters, because everyone's circumstances differ. I've personally drawn strength from people who've reached out during my family's struggles with both my parents' health.

Certain individuals deeply impressed me by knowing exactly when and how to reach out. They understood the responsibilities I carried as the oldest sibling. They anticipated my needs—legal matters, life insurance, home renovations before my mom returned from the hospital, and covering living expenses, as neither of my parents was working. They knew because they'd faced similar loss themselves. They guided me in supporting my siblings, reminded me to cherish my wife and kids, and even helped pave the way for me to be called as a counselor in the bishopric—a truly life-changing experience. They knew I'd need father figures in my life, people I could lean on for wisdom and support.

Words hold incredible power and can be a source of strength that anyone can offer. It's clear when people know exactly what to say and when to say it.

Support Through Recognition

Another impactful way people supported us was by praising my family during the viewing and funeral. To me, this highlighted the presence of the spirit in our lives, allowing others to recognize our strength and love. Many expressed appreciation for my leadership during the viewing, noting how I protected my mom and honored her wishes. After the funeral service, we received numerous heartfelt messages about how beautifully we'd celebrated my dad through our tributes. This overflow of kindness, both verbal and written, genuinely lifted our spirits.

Looking Forward

Lastly, losing my dad at a young age has profoundly deepened my empathy for others who will face similar struggles. It's inspired a strong desire to pay forward the kindness and support I've received—not out of obligation, but out of genuine inspiration. I've learned firsthand what it means to be a source of strength. We all need father figures, regular check-ins, and people who truly care. Through hard experiences, there's always wisdom and light if we choose to see them. Miraculous moments can change us forever, new skills are developed, and valuable perspectives guide us through life, bringing joy and fulfillment. It's about living intentionally—helping when you can, giving when you've been blessed, and being the kind of friend people can rely on.

The last two days have been uplifting and inspiring—a true celebration of a life well-lived. My dad was a friend to everyone, a loving father, and a man of God. I'll miss him more than I can say. Yet, I'm grateful for these experiences shaping me into who I'm becoming. Life is ultimately about becoming—not just achieving. And most importantly, it's about becoming more like Christ through our choices, our trials, and our faith.